


Red & Blue > Purple & White

by grimBleeper_Arcas_Corricol



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Asshole Eridan, F/M, Hemospectrum, Hivebent, LOBAF, LODAG, LOWAA, M/M, Seriously Fuck That Guy, violence isn't really that graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 12:28:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4479272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grimBleeper_Arcas_Corricol/pseuds/grimBleeper_Arcas_Corricol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan's an asshole, he tries to fight his angels and even though he can take one down one on one, he can't fight a full land of them. He tries to get Sollux into helping him but Sollux kicks his ass instead because Eridan's a hemofacistic prick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red & Blue > Purple & White

Eridan, ran through the alleyways of LoWaA, his footsteps echoing throughout the monochrome city, he looked over his shoulder and muttered a muted “Fuck”. He turned his head back to face the direction in which he was running, rounding the corner he saw an angel descending from above ready to cut him off, “Leave me alone” he yelled and raised Ahab’s Crosshairs at the angel in the hope that it would fly off. The angel had noticed him at this time and dove straight at him, Eridan leapt forward, sliding along the ground. He came up with the cape hanging over one of his eyes but nevertheless took aim and shot the angel through its chest, killing it instantly. He pushed the purple fabric out of his eyes and continued sprinting towards the fuchsia portal atop a ridiculously tall spire in the middle of the sprawling metropolis. By the time he had reached the building, he had left three more angel corpses behind him, fist sized holes in their chests cauterised by the intense heat.

He looked up at the tower, adjusting his glasses before pushing open the door and barring the handle with a chair. Exploring the rooms he found a stairway leading upwards and decided to take this path, by the time after scaling eleven floors, an angel burst in through the window, screaming incomprehensibly, Eridan dived underneath a table and gave of his own incoherent scream in response. He flipped the table as the angel glided at him, dazing the angel for a few seconds and this was enough time for Eridan to align the sights at the angel’s chest, adding another to his kill-count. The rest of the climb to the top of the tower proved to be uneventful except for the terrifying screeching of the denizens which plagued his land. When he finally got to the roof and couldn’t find any stairs to the portal, he almost contemplated stacking enough chairs and tables to reach it but his thoughts were cut off when his presence attracted more angels.

Hurriedly, he dug his claws into the steep roof, climbing upwards, the angels had nearly reached him as he pushed off the top of the spire, propelling himself through the portal. To his surprise, he fell into a massive glass bowl which seemed to contain Feferi’s old hive, he nearly sank when he noticed the angel clinging to his leg, he kicked at its arms until they let go before he shot a hole through the glass bowl and tumbled out. Ignoring his aching body, he was just glad that he wouldn’t have to be completely submerged in the water, he limped across the land, the gate to LoBaF already in sight. He took in the sight, with its long grass and odd looking glass figures which seemed to grow from the ground up, he surmounted a hill, standing triumphantly before his head grew light and everything fell to darkness.

\---

Sollux flicked through multiple Pesterchum windows, half paying attention to the conversations and half maintaining his psionics as he attempted to purge his immediate surroundings of the enemies created by Sgrub, Aradia was saying something about going off to beat Vriska to death which while Sollux fully understood and supported this, he also didn’t particularly care.

AA: th0ugh I am fated t0 d0 this I will enj0y the beatd0wn that is to c0me m0st th0r0ughly such are parad0x spaces whims

TA: dont go overboard, AA no matter how iin2ufferable 2he iis, were goiing two need her for the game diidn’t you 2ay 2he2 goiing to diie anyway2?

AA: i did but I will still have to kill her bef0re that event i will see y0u later h0pefully after I have assured her ascensi0n

TA: fiine ii’ll talk two you later

AA: bye s0llux

Sollux changed to a different conversation tab on the laptop floating next to him, quickly reading up on the messages he had received during the curbstomp he was delivering to the game constructs which wandered into his path.

CC: Sollux, I’m BOOOOOOR---ED, what was I supposed to be doing on -Eridan’s weird land again?

CC: -Everything’s all weirdly coloured and t)(ere’s so muc)( screec)(ing

CC: …

CC: Sollux, are you t)(ere?

TA: fuck, FF yeah ii’m here ju2t hang tiight iin there all ii got from AA wa2 that you have two 2tay there for 2omethiing, ii dont know exactly what youre 2uppo2ed two do there but 2he 2aiid and ii quote “feferi cann0t be there until the battle is 0ver y0u will call her and me but I cann0t say anything else on this” omiinou2 a2 fuck iif you a2k me

CC: … alrig)(t, w)(atever t)(is battle is, I’m shore you’ll be fine 38D

TA: whatever thii2 ii2 ii’ll handle iit, fuckiing tiime 2henaniigans

CC: )(e)(e, ok, I’ll sea you later Sollux

Satisfied with her agreement, Sollux flipped to the final chat window and immediately the purple text was hurting his eyes, he could only prepare himself so much for the sheer douchebaggery that Eridan would bring with him. Seriously, fuck that guy, he could literally go fuck himself up the spinal crevice with his shitty laser gun, fuck whoever deemed it necessary to bring this asshole into existence

CA: SOL

CA: SOL

CA: I AM FUCKIN’ COMIN’ OVVER AN’ I NEED YOUR FUCKIN’ HELP

CA: YOU’RE THE NEAREST FUCKIN’ PERSON AN’ I AM ON MY FUCKIN’ KNEES ABOUT THIS

CA: SHIT, THERE ARE MORE GODDAMN ANGELS ON MY ASS

CA: FUUUUUUCK

Already annoyed with the impending “battle”, Sollux now had another problem to deal with, one hipster, douchey, genocidal asshole shaped problem. He started floating back to his hive, hacking into Nepeta’s viewport to check on whatever Eridan had gotten himself into and was surprised to find him face down on top of a hill near the portal to his land. Sollux flew up to the area above his hive where the portal was and entered it, coming out right over Eridan’s body. He lifted Eridan up with his psionics and flew back through the portal, dumping Eridan in the recuperacoon giving just enough attention to the deed to make sure that Eridan didn’t drown prematurely.

\---

Hours passed but eventually Eridan woke up to the increased heat, flailing around the recuperaccon before he realised he was only surrounded by sopor slime, Sollux turned back towards the red, blue and purple covered sea-troll acknowledging that he was alive before he turned back to his computer. Meanwhile, Eridan had climbed out of the recuperacoon, changing out of his soggy clothes before captchaloguing them and replacing them with a clean outfit

“I got your message, you can thank me later for dragging your sorry ass back to my own hive, what the fuck were you saying about angels and why should I help you, Eridan?” Eridan almost took offense to this but didn’t react to this due to the grogginess of sopor running through his veins. “Yes, thank you, shitty angels have been acting up again and they’re coming out of the fucking woodwork, you were the nearest unoccupied troll and admittedly you can deal with them better than I can”, Sollux was surprised at how genuine the sea-dweller was being, he clearly remembered the pretentious racist from before the game and the contrast was almost ridiculous. “Didn’t you fucking attack the angels first which caused your epidemic in the first place?” “Hey I didn’t fucking ask for them to squat in my land, I can do whatever the fuck I want with my land and it’s none of your business. All their ranting about the Prince of Hope but they wouldn’t fucking obey me” shouted Eridan angrily, he was incensed by the accusations the mustard blood had swung at him. How dare he presume the problem was Eridan’s fault, even if it actually was.

“You. Fucking. Idiot. Game consorts are supposed to be fucking helping you, they don’t even drop any grist, why the fuck would you even touch them if nobody gets any material benefit out of needlessly slaughtering allies? You read up on your shitty war histories, no one killed their servants and soldiers BEFORE they had fucking won their battle, they only fucking killed them if they disappointed them or for entertainment once they were ruling, you just took some potential fucking allies and told them to shove their fucking offers of assistance up their asses without even fucking thinking about it, NO SHIT they would be angry about that” Sollux’s eyes flickered with red and blue sparks as the volume of his voice escalated. “I don’t fucking care about that, I have a fucking problem and I am here to request your assistance in this damnable conflict, there are angels and they’ll fucking kill me, you know what, I’ve given up with fucking convincing you, I am hereby fucking ordering you to help me and then we’ll fucking talk about this later.” Eridan crossed his arms with a smug look on his face, he probably would’ve looked intimidating and authoritative if his blood hadn’t rushed to his face during his shouting and made him look like a hairy grape.

“You’re fucking ordering me? I’m the team leader, I fucking made this game and I saved your ungrateful ass by letting you be a fucking player, I could have saved any fucking person from death by meteor and now here you are thinking you of all fucking people are superior to me?” The psionics had intensified at this point, Sollux’s eyes not just glowing with energy but blazing. Eridan didn’t care with this, he could take Sollux any day of the fucking week and no lowblood would tell him what to do so he reached around his back, patting it awkwardly almost looking scared when he realised that Sollux had taken Ahab’s Crosshairs. He took a tentative step backwards realising that he had no way to actually fight and he reconsidered his options before pretending to lean on a chair next to him before throwing it at Sollux. Sollux effortlessly batted the chair aside, smashing it through the wall and the splinter of wood was barely heard from this distance. Eridan used this time to rush at Sollux in an attempt to tackle him but Sollux levitated the recuperacoon behind him and used it to smash Eridan in the wall. Realising that he had put him in the same corner where he had hid Ahab’s Crosshairs, there were only two words he could form before the real fight began. “Fucking hell”

A stream of white energy burst through the flat underside of the recuperacoon and Sollux pushed backwards, the beam then swept up, gouging out metal and plaster from the ceiling. Eridan lifted the recuperacoon off before pushing it aside with a yell, he jumped to the side as part of the ceiling collapse where he was moments before, a desk falling through along with the rubble. Eridan flipped the table on the side in a practiced manoeuvre before resting the barrel of Ahab’s Crosshairs on the side of the table, staring down the iron sights. Unable to find his target, he removed his head from the gun before swiftly turning his head sideways, checking for the yellowblood but finding nothing, as he raised his weapon, the table glowed and accelerated towards him, pushing him out of the communal hive and into the squishy grey matter that made up most of Sollux’s land. While the heat was ridiculous and it was getting very uncomfortable, Eridan wouldn’t let that get the better of him, instead he picked himself up cringing at the disgusting brains that he was standing on, not seeing Sollux, he held down the trigger of Ahab’s Crosshairs, shooting through Sollux’s place of residence, then he slowly aimed his gun to the other side, cutting the hive through to the other end. He heard some rumbling before the top half of the hive slid down, crashing into the ground. Eridan screamed triumphantly, watching the dust settle but his victory was cut short when he dodged to the side and purple throwing stars whistled through the air, impacting the floor where he was standing on moments ago. A glowing red and blue figure rose from the decapitated building and a chair flew at him, Eridan tried to roll out of the way but was hit in the leg, Eridan slid across the brains, covering his clothes in gunk and ash.

Eridan came up in a crouch and aimed at where he had last seen Sollux and pulled the trigger, firing blindly because his glasses were askew. Lifting his hands off his gun and adjusting his glasses, Eridan was knocked down when a couch dropped on top of him, he wheezed and grunted and tried to push the table off but his arms were knocked back down when a computer tower slammed into the side his hand, sandwiching it. He screamed as he stared at his arm and shot through the offending furniture, cutting into his hand in the process, when he stood up, he was almost surprised when he started floating, noticing the red and blue aura surrounding him, he almost threw up as he started being dragged back to Sollux’s hive and the last thing he did before he fell into unconsciousness was close his eyes as hard as he could.

Sollux descended over Eridan’s unconscious body, yellow blood flowing down his temple, he grimaced as it leaked over his eyelid and blocked off his wound with his psionics, he knelt down beside Eridan and checked for a pulse, sighing when he found the slight thrumming in Eridan’s neck. Sollux levitated Eridan’s body, pulling him back to his hive and bent some table legs around Eridan’s arms and then sank them into a nearby wall, frowning, he did the same to Eridan’s legs, neck and torso, still finding this unsatisfactory, he duct-taped Eridan’s mouth as well. Finally, with great effort, Sollux brought the fallen top of his hive back to where it was before it was so unceremoniously decapitated, compacting the steel and concrete as much as he could with his psionics before collapsing into his chair.

\---

Aradia descended through the ceiling of the hive with a loud crash, she stood on a small pile of rubble next to Eridan’s slumped form and small clouds of dust billowed up. Feferi detached her arms from around Aradia’s robotic form and poked at Eridan, satisfied that he was still alive, she looked around for Sollux who had fallen asleep in his chair, Feferi woke Sollux up with some shaking.

“Sollux! Wake up, what happened with Eridan?” Sollux was still dazed and exhausted, he rubbed his eyes, trying to clear the fog “Fucking asshole was lying face down in your land and I dragged his ungrateful ass back here, when he finally woke up he tried to get me to help him in killing his angels, which for the record, that fucking asshole aggro-ed them in the first place. When I tell him no, he tried to shoot me, so I kicked his ass and detained him, Ahab’s Crosshairs is now in a different room because last time I fucking left it in the same fucking room as this piece of shit, he tried to use it against me.” Feferi blinked behind her goggles, trying to take in the information “Well as long as you’re both safe, better than any of us dying, right?” Sollux was quickly becoming irritated with still having to think of and care for Eridan “Once this shit passes over, I’m going to take a nice long nap and then I’ll fucking calm down, but I guarantee you that once I get the chance, no angel of double death will prevent me from wiping the floor with his fishy ass and then punting it into the sun, no offense” “None taken, even though he is a bit of a tool, it’s like you and Aradia keep saying, everyone needs to be alive for the coming battle”

Eridan’s eyelids fluttered open, he tried to yawn but his breath was stagnated by the plastic tape covering his mouth, he tried flailing but was unable to break free, his glasses were off but he could see the metallic body of Aradia, the sitting form of Sollux and the colours of Feferi’s dress. He screamed in distress but only a muffled noise escaped, Aradia noticed this and turned towards him, staring into his eyes. “You will not attempt to escape and you will remain cooperative for the remainder of this event otherwise you will wish Sollux had killed you” Eridan’s eyes widened further and he nodded furiously, already recalling recent memories and the feeling of being hit multiple times with furniture and into walls … and the ground … and flaming brains. Aradia yanked off the duct tape, leaving a stinging red mark on Eridan’s face, as Eridan worked his jaw from side to side, Feferi strode up to him and slapped him, jerking his head to the side. “What the shell were you thinking about when you started this? I leave you alone for just a while and you get into another fight?” part of Eridan wanted to agree with her but his impulsiveness emerged victorious “What do you mean I started this? He started this when he wouldn’t help me, fucking peasant-blood needs to know his place” “The hemospectrum isn’t something you can just throw around, Alternia’s gone for glub’s sake, why do you have to keep sticking with such a dead thing?” “You’re complaining about dead things? I’m pretty sure Aradia and Sollux are more deathly than I am, why don’t you go shout at them?” “Because they didn’t try to glubbing krill someone else” shouted Feferi, she breathed heavily as she tried to stop herself from punching Eridan.

Eridan started to avert his gaze, full knowing that if someone even higher on the hemospectrum snapped, not even he would be safe “Fine, just get me out of here and we’ll talk about it” Feferi’s expression softened but she was still angry with him “No, you’re going to apologise to Sollux, this is no way to ask someone to help them” “Sorry Sol” Eridan muttered, still keeping his head bowed “Fuck off and don’t let me see you until I say so, you’re fucking lucky you’re moirail is here otherwise you wouldn’t be alive to even complain” Though this greatly angered Eridan, he didn’t want to mess with Sollux again, especially if he had Feferi and Aradia with him. Feferi worked on removing Eridan’s restraints and after freeing Eridan, she dragged Eridan back to LoDaG, waving goodbye to Sollux and Aradia as she vanished into the portal.

Sollux turned back to Aradia, who had remained mostly silent throughout the rest of the conversation “Now what?”

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to do as little work with the quirks as possible, I'm not great with the consistency of them and I may or may not have put in Sollux's lisp. If you wanna talk about anything, chumhandle's grimBleeper and stuff, criticism is always helpful even if you're being a dick, I guess we can talk about characterization and how the separate personalities are meant to be represented
> 
> 26.07.15-02.08.15 grimBleeper


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